PISS OFF YOU HAG!
I know they say you don’t exist and I haven’t seen you. But I can smell you like cold burnt toast and every time you speak, you take chunks of my skin like carrion exposing my flesh and bones.
JUST PISS OFF! I want what’s left of me! I want my mind silent. I want my breath easy.
Why do you hound me? All these years?!
….All these years…
I knew you in the school yard when you circled with the others. But you stayed. At times your cold hands play tenderly on my skin and I dream of drowning in your breath.
Quiet at last. No more trying to hear above your screaming like trying to tune into a distant radio signal.
You’ll even hold my hand as I enter the water under a cloudy moon.
But I don’t want this! I want my freedom! That trifecta of tablets lets me down. The walls are treacle. I’m walking in treacle. You’re shrieking again, you want me between life and death.
I choose life as I have so often. But you pull me down.
Let me go. Please, let me go!
Oh, my child… please hear my words. Oh, if I could lift you up and bandage a cut knee. But for a haemorrhaging soul, I’m at a loss.
If only I could die a thousand deaths to stop your pain of years.
A mother’s love seems useless.
If only I could rip away those ghosts and shades! If only I could reign mighty and they quake and run!
My darling, if only you could feel my love.
Because I love you so much.
Rips at the soul
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Mental illness is tough for loved ones too. But hope my blog overall has sense of hope. If I can get past this others can. Thank you so much for your comment. X
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